The Mindset of Leaving a Church

Last month, I shared one of the many ways that Satan uses to cause us to leave a church. Since then, I’ve been digging deeper into the mindset that Satan used on me, to cause me to consider leaving the Lord’s church. These are my honest, out on the table admissions. Perhaps they will be a help to you …

Here is my profound answer… It’s our own pride that the devil uses to cause this “leaving the church” mindset. Somehow, we think we deserve better or something different than what is happening to us. We think our way is better. Pride. We think our children are ok and nobody better tells us otherwise. Pride. We think our opinion matters. Pride. We think we are ok the way we are. Pride. My own pride makes me sad. I really hate it! It's hard to write about real heart issues. I don’t want people knowing how wretched I really am. Pride. But, time is short and there is so much at stake. I must be honest.

We can make all kinds of excuses for why we react wrong or have a wrong mindset. Our excuses typically include the fact that someone did something and it caused me to react. It’s not as if we have no control over our own actions! I know we've heard this a hundred times. But, it's true. We cannot live by our feelings! But we always seem to do that very thing! Feelings come and go like the wind. Kind of like my morning. This morning, before my husband left for work I felt like I wanted to box his ears in. He did or said something and I reacted wrong. I got mad. He's at work now and I'm thinking right again! Now, I feel like making him his favorite meal for supper tonight. How ugly is that!

This same thing happens when it comes to our church family. Our flesh wants to be in control when things happen. Please don’t misunderstand what I’m trying to say here. I don’t want to make light of a serious matter. There are very hurtful things that can happen to us.

For example.... Psalm 41:9 “Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath lifted up his heel against me.” It hurts especially bad when a trusted friend turns on you and somehow becomes your enemy. It hurts a lot when you can’t do anything to fix the problem or if you don’t even know for sure what the problem really is.

It's hurtful when you have a serious trial happening and it seems as if no one really cares. Here is an example.... Matthew 15:22-28 “And, behold, a woman of Canaan came out of the same coasts, and cried unto him, saying, Have mercy on me, O Lord, thou Son of David; my daughter is grievously vexed with a devil.” This was a really big problem. How did Jesus react?
“But he answered her not a word.” Ok... right here is where most people would lose it! Fine, we would say.....you obviously don’t understand the seriousness of my situation. You don’t care! You are insensitive….. so...I'll react. I'll just leave altogether…. or better yet, I'll stick around and stew in my bitterness! Why would Jesus, who loves us so much, “answer her not a word”? Can we grasp the idea that in everything that happens, God has a purpose? Every problem, every heartache, every situation, is a way for God to show Himself mighty on our behalf.

There is something to be learned from everything that happens! We may not like it. We may not agree. It might hurt a lot! But if we could just stop for a moment and ask God to help us learn what He wants us to learn, we would see everything in a different light. There was a lesson Jesus wanted to teach this woman in Matthew chapter 15.

“And his disciples came and besought him, saying, Send her away; for she crieth after us.”

Do you feel like people in the church don't like you? Do you feel misunderstood? Do you feel like sometimes certain people don’t want you around or they just don’t care? I'm sure the reaction of the disciples was disheartening.

“But he answered and said, I am not sent but unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel.
Then came she and worshipped him, saying, Lord, help me.”

She didn't give up! She worshipped Him! Oh, man what a message this must have sent to her daughter and those around her!

“But he answered and said, It is not meet to take the children’s bread, and to cast it to dogs.”

This answer would definitely send most people into the pit of anger and depression. But what did she do? “And she said, "Truth, Lord: yet the dogs eat of the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table.”

She humbled herself.

“Then Jesus answered and said unto her, O woman, great is thy faith: be it unto thee even as thou wilt. And her daughter was made whole from that very hour.”

What would have happened to this lady and her daughter, had she let her pride and feelings control her actions?

I think way too many times we don’t hang on long enough, to see what God can do. Our pride says we deserve better right now! When really we deserve nothing. We allow or own pride to deceive us.

Galatians 6:3 “For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.”

Because this lady had the right heart attitude about herself and her situation, Jesus was able to do a great thing for not only her, but her child as well! This is so important, because not only will a “leaving the church mindset” affect our children, but everyone around us will be affected too.

Hebrews 12:15 “ Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;”

I looked up the definition for the word defile. It means to pollute, sully, contaminate, soil.
It's like carrying a bag full of toxic waste around with you, not realizing that there is a hole in the bag and a little bit spills out everywhere you go. Not only is your own health, happiness, and home affected, but it will do the same to everyone around you.

We may not see its affect right away. But, eventually it will be made known, because the Bible says in Galatians 6:7, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” What I love about this verse is that it includes the good and the bad.
The Bible wouldn’t tell us to root out sin in our life, if it were an impossible thing to do.

Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” We are the ones who have to change. We will only reap good, when we sow good.

And... it doesn’t happen over night. Don't give up!

As Christians our goal is to be like Jesus. It can only happen when we are willing to die to our flesh…. including our pride.


These verses have really helped me a lot. It's hard to have wrong thoughts about anything, when meditating on these verses.

Philippians 2:5-8 “ Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.”

Psalm 34:18 “ The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.”

Isaiah 57:15 “For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.”

How close I am to God… is up to me.

I still have to work on this myself. I don’t always react right and more times than I want to admit, I feel like giving up and running away.

But I've learned some very valuable lessons during the hard times in my life. Here are a few:

1. You take yourself with you where ever you go. If you want things to change---you have to change. It's not always everyone else that has the problem. It might just be me.

2. Jesus suffered more on my behalf than I can even imagine or express.
Isaiah 53:3-10 “He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth. He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for he was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken. And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no violence, neither was any deceit in his mouth.
Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in his hand”.

So, after reading these verses I have to ask myself...

Who am I to want to quit and leave the Lord’s church? Even if it is just leaving in my own heart where I think no one can see. People do see and they are affected. God sees too.

From my heart.
Dianne